do you ever listen to your favourite band and think
"I love this band a lot"
"you’ll get ink poisoning"
haha funny thing is, its actually impossible to get ink poisoning this way. the only way to get sick with ink is to eat around 16 pens full of ink to even be slighty harmful
when I was a kid, I actually ate the ink of a pen or two. Worried, my parents called animal control. Turns out that pens are soy based, so you really can’t get sick from eating them. That doesn’t mean you should try though.
Wait, why did your parents call animal control?
was wondering the same thing^
Your soulmate is not someone that comes into your life peacefully. It is who comes to make you question things, who changes your reality, somebody that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone has idealized, but an ordinary person, who manages to revolutionize your world in a second…
why are there so many “romantic” black and white gifs of tate from american horror story that aint right did you guys pay any attention to that show at all
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
humans are very interesting because no other creature has gone through years of evolution to be this stupid
sometimes a sloth’s metabolism can slow down so much it can starve to death with a full stomach
i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
six word autobiography: “fuck goddamnit i fucked up so bad”
guys i specifically made that sentence seven words long so someone could comment “but thats seven words” and i could say “fuck i did it again i fucked up” so we could all have a good laugh but no one said it. yall fucked up. i fucked up because i assumed yall wouldnt fuck up. everythings fucked up